We encourage clients or potential clients to explore alternatives to divorce. We often suggest other approaches that will protect the client and meet his or her needs, short of divorce. Thus, if the topic of reconciliation arises, we are not questioning or judging your decision with respect to the divorce. Rather, we want to make sure you are aware that the results you seek are attainable by other means and confirm that you really want a divorce.
Further, at any times during the process, the divorce proceedings may be put on hold- or vacated entirely- while the parties attempt reconciliation. At no time (until the final Divorce Decree is signed by the Judge) should you feel as though this is an irreversible process. However, I have found that less than one in one hundred cases leads to reconciliation. Be realistic.
Divorce tends to bring out the worst in people. Self-protection requires a new set of guidelines for dealing with your legal adversary:
- Be polite
- Be skeptical
- Walk away from arguments or conflict
- Don’t enter into private negotiations without your lawyer’s knowledge and advice.
- Don’t make agreements or sign anything without talking to your lawyer first.
- When in doubt, believe your lawyer, not your spouse.
- Learn to say, “Talk to your lawyer and have him or her talk to mine.”
- Please obtain a post office box until the conclusion of the case so that your mail will not be intercepted by your spouse.
- Do not, under any circumstances, keep any files in connection with your case at any location where your spouse could seize them, thus frustrating the proceedings.
- Do not, under any circumstances, enter into any Agreements of sale on your real estate, or the acquisition of new real estate, without conferring with your attorney
- Do not presume that your counsel receives copies of any correspondence, legal pleadings, or notices that you may receive in the mail or by judicial process. Upon receiving any such documents, contact your attorney immediately and send your counsel copies of any such documents.
- Do not be intimidated by your spouse.
- Take pictures of any evidence you want to preserve and keep the pictures away from your spouse. This could be pictures of your assets (furniture) or pictures of circumstances involving placement (inappropriate surroundings, documentation of poor parenting etc.)